The Study So Far: On All Things Courtship And Prayers For Your Future Husband
A new study on marriage, especially marriage God’s way series began this month, and God in His beautiful way orchestrated this series to renew my mind and to also bring into remembrance what I had already learnt..
An introduction was given by Frances Okoro on ” the oneness in marriage”.. Frances took me back to the BASICS on the blueprint of marriage.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18 NIV
This is one bible verse that one knows from the heart, next to John 3:16, but this Friday i got a deeper meaning to it. What does it mean to be alone? What does it mean to be “one” with someone? It was based on this, that God made Eve for Adam..
The oneness in marriage was made and should always show the oneness, God the trinity has.
God spoke: “Let US make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature…
Genesis 1:26-28 MSG
And the oneness Jesus has with the church.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
1 Corinthians 12:27
This reinforced why marrying the wrong man, can lead to disastrous consequences not just for me, but to my unborn generation (being unequally yoked is ringing in my head)..
Oneness in marriage, should reflect the oneness of Jesus and the church, so if i can’t be one with Jesus, it’s safe to say i can’t be one with my future spouse…
Being as one basically means being naked, telling HIM, the good, bad, ugly.. In that aspect am still a work in progress 🙈
It’s easy to tell Jesus the good, when you get a new job or a new promotion, even in the bad, when you need to pay bills or when someone hurts you, but the ugly times not so easy, especially when you stubble in your walk in purity, (all these cute guys self).
But like He told Paul, when Paul was faced with his thorns, we have God’s grace with us even during those days.
So oneness with God leads to a 100% assurance of a oneness with my spouse, for God won’t lead me to a man that is not for me, in the first place. When i finally meet him, being open with him would be easier…
Coming from a broken home, this is a reassuring promise..
The nextweek, Mobolaji Olorisade, took us on a study of “the purpose of marriage”. She further explained why marriages even Christian marriages were breaking up.. I learnt that no one has an advantage over anyone else, when it comes to having a successful marriage.. There is this notion that Christians should be among the success rates, however if it is not carried out according to the plans of God, it won’t work..
Now the purpose of marriage isn’t about me, nor about the cute man I would marry or the ability to finally have sex(being celibate, this can be a sometimes be an idea). She took us back to the BASICS, which was, genesis 1:27.. So one requirement I learnt through this verse, was before I start any relationship ask myself “am I walking in the likeness of God” ?
A marriage of two people, who aren’t in Christ can never work..
God actually created relationships. He started the whole thing! He “match-made” Adam and Eve, and other Biblical relationships, like Ruth and Boaz, Isaac and Rebecca etc
Also based on this, the purpose of my marriage, should be to
bring the kingdom of God on this earth. My home is (should be) an embassy of heaven! We should see marriage as an ambassadorial assignment.
This made marriage all the more important to me, it stopped being solely about me, but about God, every other thing is secondary.. (it’s still taking me time to adjust to this also)
I was left with questions, how do i go about having a purposeful courtship? What are the signs to look out for in aimless relationship?
Well Bola, through God’s help answered it.. First i needed to avoid aimless and seemingly harmless dates, because after these dates, we start to pray, but the antenna isn’t working well again . lol I could relate..
Another lesson was the difference between dating and courtship.. The world tends to say there is no difference, both are the same,same way they say Biblical love and worldly love are the same, however in God’s eyes they aren’t..
Dating: Leaves too many holes and uncertainty and most times leads to unnecessary emotional baggage.
Courtship: Often grows from a Godly friendship where those involved start catching feelings. They therefore take it to God and ask if it’s time to move into a courtship with marriage in view.
So like she said, when I want to start a relationship, I should always ask myself
“why do I want to date”?
To effectively answer that question, i need to find out what is the purpose of my life in God, because when I do, i can find the purpose of my marriage…
And most importantly, God is interested in writing my love story, it’s a big yet reassuring thought, that the king of the world, is in interested in writing the love story of little me, the clause however is to let Him.. Well for that, am still learning..
These are the few lessons I learnt from the Marriage series, two weeks into this series and so much stuffs,it’s helping me to gauge where i am, where I need to surrender more to God etc.
I look forward to learning more from the ladies as God pours out His rhema on their hearts..
I love to meet new people and make people laugh..
PS: Our first Bible study collection is out and ready for sale.
It includes studies on:
Marriage God way
Becoming God’s own kind of woman
The character of a godly woman
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