TWTW Books

​Modesta Uchenwa: How ‘The List’ Changed My Life

Note: This is a review from The women at the well Bible Study collection volume 1. 

Maturing into a woman and growing to be a woman of God   is just as one of our Naomi’s rightly put it: that Gods institution is the one you never graduate from. The more I know Him is the more I want to know him. ..let me not just digress to that story….
So I never really made any list of who or what my future husband should be like…not even the “tall handsome  rich”  kind of list…I didn’t care. Growing up from my background (story for another day) , I would think that one need not even marry. Lol. But the more I walk with him the more he opens the eyes of my heart  to see that marriage is his very institution (highly prioritised). Hence why devil uses this means (marriage) to attack the children of God in various ways. (but we are more than conquerors in Christ jesus).
So I now understand that chosing a life partner is as important as the marriage itself. Your life,the choices you make before marriage is more and highly important than marriage. This is a situation where the before package should be as good as the after package. Wouldn’t you rather lay your foundation on solid Rock where wind or any harsh conditions won’t destroy it? 
I didn’t preorder for our bible collection (twtw very first publication) even though it was discounted from a long period of time. The devil has a way of depriving us of things that would benefit us most, so I was giving my self one reason or the other for not preordering. Hmmm on our meet/book launch day one of our sisters came to me and said …hey Modesta take this book someone preordered for you. I was like  (opened mouth very wide) …what! Who! I kept screaming with joy. Sis God bless you!
The List:  I started reading the book the next day

The Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see how I would have settled for less when there is a crown that He prepareth for me (and for all who trust Him). The characteristics of all the husbands mentioned in the List wowed me to tears. So the Holy Spirt said “Modesta pick up your pen this time you will write”. I realized that there is power in asking as God encouraged us to ask anything in His name, to seek and knock and we shall find. 
The husbands mentioned in the list shared these common characteristics:

  1.  God fearing: they all put God first in all their decisions. (Abraham, Isaac, David..) then let God directed them rather than let money and other things of the world determine for them.
  2. They were gentlemen of noble character, humble and hospitable.
  3. They had faith in God, thus they listened to  Him and obeyed Him.
  4. They Loved their wives deeply thus they protected her (Sarah, Ruth, Mary) from harm and shame. They protected their wives ugly past, they never discussed their wives inabilities/short comings with their mothers or friends or elders at the gate. Rather they praised and encouraged their wives, they helped and supported them in difficult times, they prayed for their wives (Isaac ,Jacob). They remained kind with her. 

“….. not a man who is kind 

because he wants you as a wife but one whose default mode is kindness”

Excerpt from TWTW Bible collection volume 1: the list page 29

Hmmmm I kept writing and my list kept growing but with precision (clarity). Actually reading the list and writing this review as directed. The moment I drop this pen I would submit my list to Him my Friend.
Do you have a list? If yes  please read the List and review your list.

If no please read the list and let God open your eyes and guide you.

And hey all the prayer points in that book are megas…heheheh don’t miss it.

This one is my best. 

Prayer: Lord let my future husband love me like you love me. Amen.

Bio: Modesta Uchenewa is a seamstress growing in her love and relationship with the Lord.

See and order for her clothing colletion here (link


The women at the well Bible study collection is out and ready for sale

It includes studies on:

The list

Marriage God way

Becoming God’s own kind of woman 

The character of a godly woman
Ecopies and hard copies are  available.

Also available on Konga and Okadabooks

Mail  for your copies

New Book: The Women At The Well Bible Study Collection Volume One

On Saturday March 4th 2017; history was made. A fruit of this ministry was released. The women at the well Bible Study collection volume one.


This book is the birthing of a dream from collective labour of love.

DSC_0144.jpg 2 DSC_0145.jpg 2

What happens when over 50 ladies, most of whom have never met, get together to talk about Jesus on Whatsapp? 
Nothing short of life, love, laughter and so much more, straight from The Living Well. 
This has been our experience at The Women At The Well since a fateful day on November 2015, and our beautiful journey of discovering who Christ is and who we are in Him continues to evolve with each passing day. 
We are excited to share with you the many lessons Daddy has been teaching us on womanhood,  marriage and purpose as penned down in this book. As you read and reflect, we pray that you too will  experience a personal overflow of Jesus in your life and as a result,  fill up other women in your community for Him.
With love,
The Women At The Well
-Blurb For Back Cover by Ify Halim(you can also watch the video of our sister Ify launching the book at the end of his post)
We are thankful to God for grace and divine help/provision.
Aramide speaking about our book at the launch
Aramide speaking about our book at the launch

The Women at the Well Bible Study Collections is a collection of studies we have
dug into for the last one year as a group.
We are a Christian ladies ministry committed to raising women filled with Jesus
and part of the means by which we do this is through Bible studies. The Bible
Studies in this book contain every amazing treasure that we have found in the
word for the last one year.
Being selfish is not a virtue for a Christian woman so here you have it, our four
Bible studies on critical areas that concern every woman:
1: The List
2: Becoming God’s Own Kind of Woman
3: Marriage God’s Way
4: The Character of A Godly Woman
We pray that your heart is renewed and your mind transformed as you dig into
God’s truth.

Our personal review is that this book is a must have for every lady who desires to be God’s own kind of woman. But that’s our personal review. Feel free to take our word for it.


The women at the well bible study collection volume one is available in both soft copies and ecopies.

For hard copies call 07035539092


You can also order on Konga for delivery to any part of Nigeria HERE

Soft copies are available on Okadabooks HERE

We can also send PDF files directly to you if you prefer that or are out of Nigeria

Feel free to Mail us at for your copies.

God bless you.


Lots of love,

The women at the well


P.S: You can read sneak peeks from the book to really get a feel of the treasure in this book HERE

Jesus’ Kind Of Husband For You


This is a sneak peek from our book ‘The women at the well Bible study Collection Volume 1″.

This is the introduction to “The List”.


To order for your copy of our book, mail

Hard copy ad soft copy available


Generations of single ladies like you and I have come and gone.

Even generations of wives have walked the face of the Earth.

And as different as their lives were, one common thing they shared is The List; the almighty list for a future husband.

While some ladies had godly parents who taught them to seek solid Christian qualities, others weren’t as fortunate. They grew up with the adjectives “Tall, Dark and Handsome” (TDH) feeding their imaginations and swirling inside their heads; this includes the God-fearing Christians among them.

Don’t get us wrong, TDH is not entirely bad, after all, who doesn’t like shiny things? But sadly, TDH alone can’t sustain a marriage that is meant to last till “death do us part”. Hence, the question: What exactly should a list for a husband entail?

Now, there are various attributes you can think of and include to your list, but why stress when you already have the best template there is? One that can be specifically tailored to your needs.

If you want a king, you can have David, Solomon or King Ahasuerus (Esther’s husband).

If you want a wise man, you can choose between King Solomon, Daniel, Paul, Abraham and Jacob.

If you want a father, brother, friend and husband, there is Mary’s husband, Joseph.

If you want your husband to pant after your love, pick Abraham, Isaac or Jacob.

If you want a strong man, Joshua or Caleb would make a great match.

The Bible contains everything you need to live a successful life, including qualities of a suitable suitor. From Genesis down to Revelations, it’s all there in the Word. So, with that said, go ahead and make your list with the Bible’s range of attributes to choose from. And as you study the various husbands in the Word, remember that the greatest husband of all times is and will always be Jesus.

For your Maker is your husband — the LORD Almighty is his name — the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.”

Isaiah 54:5, NIV

It is Jesus who paid the ultimate price to make us His own. Our marriage with Him will endure till eternity and if we want earthly marriages that will stand the test of time, we need to know what attributes matter to Jesus and how they can also be seen in our husbands.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.

He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.”

Ephesians 5:25-27, NLT

From the above passage, we can clearly see what Jesus wants for us His daughters:

#1. Husbands who love their wives

Not as the world loves with mere material things but as Jesus loves, laying down His life to keep His bride safe and His for eternity. This is the way of a godly husband. You can learn more about Christ’s love in 1st Corinthians 13.

#2. Husbands who keep their wives holy

A man Jesus would choose for his bride would be able and willing to keep her holy before God. He would shy away from desecrating her body with sexual sin, and would want to present her to God without blemish.

#3. Husbands who wash their brides with the water of the word

Jesus’ choice for his bride would be a man who is able to teach his wife the Word of God, and mould her in the process. He doesn’t just feed her body and mind but also her spirit which is most important.

Jesus does all of the above, and that is why the Word says “Husbands love your wives as Jesus loves the Church”. If a man cannot love you the way Jesus posits, then there is something wrong with the standards you are holding him up to.

This book – “The List for a Future Husband” cannot tell you everything you should look for in a man, but it promises to guide you in writing your very own list with the following Bible heroes’ stories:

  1. . Abraham

  2. . Isaac

  3. . Joseph

  4. . Boaz

  5. . Jacob

  6. . David

  7. . Lapidoth

  8. . Zachariah

  9. . Hosea

  10. . The Proverbs 31 Man

We encourage you to pick up the Bible and study these great men. In the process, prayerfully base your list on the attributes that God would want His special man for you to have.

We pray that as you do, your mind is renewed, your heart is enlightened and your eyes are open to see as God sees. We pray for more women to come into God’s plan and heart as regards marriage and what He desires in mates for them. We pray that the standards we hold our to-be-suitors to are actually standards that have their bases in Jesus.

Jesus loves you, and He deeply wants you to settle with a godly husband on this side of heaven, even more than you desire that for yourself.

Dear Sister in Christ, let His word show you just how true this is.

The Women At The Well,

Lagos Nigeria

For every woman: lessons from rookie Ruth



This is a sneak peek from our upcoming book: the women at the well collection of Bible Studies.

The book includes four studies:

The list
Becoming God’s own kind of woman
Marriage God’s way
The character of a godly woman

Preorder from now till March 3rd and also get Frances’ new book titled “Prayers for your future husband” all for 2000naira only.

We are glad to announce that for everyone who preordered the women at the well  collection of Bible studies, your ecopy  of "prayers for your future husband" will be  sent to you on Saturday February 25th 2017. Yes! We are also mega glad to announce that the preorder deals have been reopened till March 3rd 2017,a day before we have our first meet for the year/book launch. We got mails asking for an extension and we have heeded. You get "Prayers for your future husband" (which costs 1000naira,either hardcopy or soft copy depending on which you prefer) and The women at the well collection of four Bible studies (which costs 2000naira)... You get both  books for 2000naira only with this preorder deal. Send an email to for payment details. Don't miss out on this again. This is a deall that shouldn't be missed. Two for the price of one. Purchase for a friend who will jump at you with kisses and tag a friend who needs this. Lots of love, The women at the well #christianbooks #marriageGodsway #thelist #becomingGodsownkindofwoman #thecharacterofagodlywoman #prayersforyourfuturehusband #christianauthor #singleladies #womeninministry

Mail to Preorder

There exists a general notion in today’s world that posits that a woman should “eat a man’s money”..
This notion have led even Christian ladies to delve into the realm of materialism.
Most women are in relationships they shouldn’t be in because of money.

But lets examine what Ruth did when she needed money. ..


The Virtue Of Diligence
The next attribute I noted as I studied Ruth was her diligence. In Ruth chapter 2, we see her
tell Naomi “Let me go out”.

She was willing to step out and work without waiting for her
big break. She stepped out into what she could do in the NOW. Also, letting go of pride, she went out to pick up scattered grain to feed herself and Naomi. Ruth could have decided to be
a prostitute instead of being hardworking. She was from Moab, no one knew her in Israel, but
she chose the hardworking way.

There’s always something God maybe showing us to do in a period. It may not be grand but it’s His direction to us.
How hardworking are we? It’s easy to credit ourselves that we are not lazy but how much are we willing to do as women? Would we say “No Lord, you promised me the nations” and then refuse the local place He asks us to step into?
Ruth was also very selfless. The little Ruth got, she shared with Naomi. There was a part in the story where Boaz invited her to eat, and after doing so, she kept some back for her mother-in-law. That just blew my mind. Her thoughtfulness… selflessness was of the highest

“So Ruth gathered barley there all day, and when she beat out the grain that evening, it
filled an entire basket.
She carried it back into town and showed it to her mother-in-law. Ruth also gave her the
roasted grain that was left over from her meal.”
Ruth 2:17&18

In Ruth giving leftovers to Naomi, I learnt something too. When God blesses us, do we keep the blessing all to ourselves, or do we give some out and bless others?
“What Do People See In Me?”

Another attribute I see in Ruth is that she was a virtuous woman.

In Ruth 3:11, Boaz mentioned that everyone in the town knew Ruth as a virtuous woman.
Before the virtuous woman was talked about in Proverbs 31, that term was used for Ruth.

“Now don’t worry about a thing, my daughter. I will do what is necessary, for everyone in
town knows you are a virtuous woman.”
Ruth 3:11, NLT

Ruth’s virtuous life was obvious for all to see – that’s a reminder that people are always
watching us and making their judgement about us in our absence.
What do people see in me? What do people in your sphere of influence say about you?
As women of God, what do we carry as we move about? What do people say when you pass
by – at work, in your neighbourhood, at church, your village etc.?

Let’s also notice that Boaz didn’t say Ruth was known for being pretty. This proves that a woman doesn’t have to be physically beautiful to get a man’s attention. It was Ruth’s hard work and commitment to her mother in law that impressed Boaz the most. And that’s how a foreigner married one of the best men in Bethlehem.
Character ladies. Let’s invest more in our characters than in our outward looks.

Ruth also shows us where to turn to and what to do when life hurts. Despite her losses, this young widow fixed her gaze on God and poured her energy into helping others. She was so obedient, meek and lowly in heart. I believe God spoke through Naomi to Ruth and she obeyed. There is nothing as pleasant as the Lord instructing you. No matter how hard it may
be, just obey because it will ALWAYS end in your favour. Ruth obeyed first and provision came after. Obey first and God will provide and take care of you.
I also see that God indeed orders our steps (Ruth 2:3). See how God ordered Ruth’s steps to
Boaz’s farm!
Also note that Ruth wasn’t even looking for a husband when the man came. How good is God?

“No good thing will God withhold from the upright”
Psalm 84:11

You know Ruth just wanted to glean grain, not knowing that God had her husband set there and had plans to make her an ancestor of Jesus. God does plan it all for our good even when we may not see it.
I really want to be like Ruth – loving, determined, virtuous, meek, obedient, hardworking,
gentle and selfless.
I hope you want to inculcate her attributes too.

Ps: Come March 4th, we as Ruths will be gleaning wisdom from Naomis at our first meet this year.

Theme: Bridging the gap between Naomis and Ruths.

Meet is free but you have to register.
Register here 

Don’t Miss The March 2017 TWTW Meet + 50 Percent Off Off Our New Book


Hi sisters!

Like we mentioned yesterday, our founder Frances just released her new book “Prayers for your future husband”.

The book is has not officially been released yet and so she wants to give another chance to the ladies who have been reaching us about missing out on the preorder deal we previously sent out.

“Prayers for your future husband” main book is accompanied by the “21 Days prayers for your future husband challenge ebook”.

The book alone costs 1000 Naira.

The women at the well collection of Bible studies which will be released at our March meet comprises of four Bible studies every woman should desire to dig into.

Every woman wants to become something. When I was younger I wanted to become a Lawyer. I am one now but is that all? I found out that there is something higher that I have to become and that is "God's own kind of woman". What kind of woman did He intend for me to become? Based on my gifts, talents and His Spirit in me? I found this out as I burrowed deeper into Him. I am a Deborah kind of woman. My work in Him is one of the kind Debbie did in those days. But then even though we want to find out the kind of women we are in God, we don't start from there. We start from knowing Him. And in knowing Him we know us. We know who we are. We shouldn't be worried about finding our purpose and knowing what the word says about us.. just burrow deeper into God. As you go deeper in intimacy with Him, when the time comes for Him to give you instructions on what to do for Him, he will tell you. But never place DOING above WALK WITH HIM. Get your fellowship with God straightened out and as you do, finding who you are in the word wont be an issue. P:S: Becoming God's own kind of woman is a study in our upcoming book to be released in February 2017. Pre-order your copy on or before January 31st 2017 and you also get  @frances_okoro new book "Prayers for your future husband (Spirit led prayers for the one whose name you dont know) as a FREE GIFT (the ebook). Pre-order price is 1500 Naira. Send a mail to to get on this awesome deal. Feel free to tag a lady you know who will bless you for this info. #christianbook #books #christianwoman #womenministries #thewomenatthewell


-The list
-Becoming God’s own kind of woman
-Marriage God’s way
-The character of a godly woman

These are all studies that have wrecked us and made us dig deeper into God.
This collection of Bible study is for every woman who wants to step out of the world’s rut into God’s way of knowing who she is.

TWTW collection of Bible study costs 2000Naira.

BUT Here’s the great news!

We are reopening another preorder deal for everyone who orders and pays for these books on or before March 3rd 2017.

Cost: 2000Naira.

The price of one for the gift of three.

You get:

-The women at the well collection of Bible study

-Prayers for your future husband (either the hard copy or soft copy)

-21 days prayers for your future husband challenge eBook.

If you missed the first deal then this is specifically meant for you.

Don’t miss out on this one too.

Mail to get account details for your payment and feel free to not just purchase for yourself but also for a lady you love who needs this.


Also…..don’t miss out on our next meet.

Please don’t.
Please do yourself a favour and don’t.

There’s too much wisdom at stake for you to let slip through your fingers like that.


Theme: Bridging the gap between Naomis and Ruths

Date: March 4th 2017

Fee: FREE but you have to register.
Register for free Here

We are excited for all in store in this season.

Don’t be left behind sis.

Mail us for your books.

And share this with a sister who will bless you for this!

Lots of love,
The women at the well

The Woman I Want To Become


This is a sneek peak from our upcoming book.

The book is a collection of studies that include:

-The List

-Becoming God’s own kind of woman

-Marriage God’s way

-The character of a godly woman


Pre-order before January 31st and get the book and Frances’ book “Prayers for your future husband” as a free ebook!

All for 1,500Naira!

To pre-order mail for our treasurer’s account number to be sent to you.


The price reverts to normal price of 2000 Naira after January 31st.

January 31st is just around the corner.



I have had these words in my head for a long time but just didn’t know how to translate them into written form.

As I type right now, I have Hillsong’s “Desert Song” plugged in my ears and I can’t help but think about how much of a contrast is between the physical now and what I see with my spiritual eyes.

But still, like “Desert Song” says…

“All of my life…
In every season…
You are still God…
I have a reason to sing…
I have a reason to worship…..”

We studied Deborah as the first woman and one of the things that sparked my interest about her was Deborah’s story of BECOMING. We were never told how she came to be Israel’s judge, but all we know is that after 20 years of the Israelites cry for a deliverer, God sent her.

Where was she in the 20 years prior to her arising in Israel?

She was BECOMING. She was on a journey to BECOMING the woman God wanted her to become.

A journey like the one I am currently on. A journey filled with tears, pain and a literal holding on to God’s Word as the only sustenance I have.

But even in this journey, again I sing…

All of my life…
In every season…
You are still God…
I have a reason to sing…
I have a reason to worship…..”

But still, as I read in between the lines and saw Deborah’s journey to becoming God’s own kind of woman, I also saw the point where she became that woman. The point where she arose, stayed faithful at her place of service under the palm tree and led 10,000 men into war.

I saw Deborah the lioness who sang battle cries and danced a victory dance after God brought to pass the word He had used her to deliver to His people.

I saw Deborah, the woman who had a word that saved a nation and I could identify with the woman who BECAME what God has called her to be even more.

And so I asked myself….What is the vision of the woman I see God moulding me to become?

In what way is God specifically preparing me to become the kind of woman He wants me to become?

What does the journey to becoming look like right now? What stage am I on my journey to becoming?

I will answer all the above questions here with sincerity of heart, just as I would answer them if I was writing in my private journal.

I look at the not so distant future and I see a Frances who arises as the solution for her generation.

I see a woman who has been moulded and built by God in faith, love and strength.

I see me, a woman who has a word for her generation… a word that uplifts souls, transforms lives, bridges gaps and changes nations for good.

I do not see me as a woman who ends up local, I see me going global… to the Nations He has promised me. I see the word He has given me spreading to the ends of the earth.

I see me, the woman who lives for God, who carries a grace that only a relationship with Him brings and a light that only shines out of an intimate relationship with God.

I see me, a woman who others want to be associated with, not because of what she has, but because she exudes God from her very breath.

I see me, the lioness who isn’t scared to believe every of God’s word spoken to her, the woman who lives and is sustained by faith in God. The world’s money isn’t my currency, His word is.

I see me, a woman who changes the lives of generations in the world but also changes the lives of her household – her husband and children for good.

I see me, the woman who is used to transform lives out there, but still is a woman secure enough to be submissive to her husband – her Lapidoth.

I don’t see me in a room cooped up in fear, sadness or pain. I see me in the world, dispensing God’s light and glory to all.

I am a woman who’s meek and quiet in spirit but also one who knows and uses her authority in Christ. The kingdoms of hell flee when I speak, standing on the authority of Christ who has redeemed me.

When I look at me, I see a woman who lives forth her purpose in Christ… blazing through the great things her Father purposed for her before the beginning of time with no fear or recourse to timidity or shyness.

I see the vision of who God is moulding me to become in the above words. I see it so clearly in my mind’s eye, all that remains is for me to live it forth in the physical.

And then comes the process and journey to becoming this woman in real time. I am on a journey, a journey that has me deep in the valley with only God as my anchor. A journey that has me almost empty in finances but full with God.

It wrecks me, it’s painful and filled with questions like “Lord, when will this end?”
But I have also learnt that a woman who is learning to become God’s own kind of woman sings the same song in the valley and in the mountain.

She sings a song of joy, knowing that her God has got her firmly fixed in the centre of His palms. She knows that whatever happens, God is simply preparing her for His role for her and the journey to becoming isn’t one of tears, it is one of joy because the fruits shall shine forth and they shall thrill everyone abroad and asunder.

She recognizes that she is being refined and complaining will simply unnecessarily elongate the process and so she waits PATIENTLY for the Lord to act.

She waits in joy, not dictated by circumstances.

She waits while singing songs of praise like Deborah.

And so, where am I in this journey to becoming right now? I am in God’s arms, seemingly in the valley but still being moulded by Him.

I am BECOMING God’s own kind of woman even now, and if it pleases my Father to have me where He has me right now, then by all means, I will strive for it to please me too. I will not waste this season right now in tears and impatience. Rather, I will submit myself like His child that I am saying “Lord, this is your daughter; do with me as you will.”

Don’t waste your seemingly dry season, dear sister. If He has you in the valley, He has you in there for a reason.

Take your pen like I have done…
Take stock of where you see Daddy taking you to…
Take stock of how you see Him preparing you for what He has prepared for you.
Submit yourself to Him and let Him work on you.
And all the while with joy coursing through your veins, know this deep in your heart – you are becoming His own kind of woman.
Yes, even now, you are BECOMING.

And let not His song depart from your mouth:

“All of my life…
In every season…
You are still God…
I have a reason to sing…
I have a reason to worship…..”

When He brings you to your wealthy place, still sing to God and let everyone know that the God of the woman who has become His own kind of woman was still the God of the woman when she was in the process of becoming His own kind of woman. He saw you through the process of BECOMING and will see you through till you BECOME that which He wants you to become.

Who do you see yourself becoming?


Frances Okoro

Lessons From Debbie The Warrior


This is a sneek peak from our upcoming book.

The book is a collection of studies that include:

-The List

-Becoming God’s own kind of woman

-Marriage God’s way

-The character of a godly woman


Pre-order before January 31st and get the book and Frances’ book “Prayers for your future husband” as a free ebook!

All for 1500Naira!

To pre-order mail for our treasurer’s account number to be sent to you.


The price reverts to normal price of 2000 Naira after January 31st.

January 31st is just around the corner.




B. Woman Of Faith and Courage – Judges 4 & 5

In Judges 4:3, we see that the children of Israel cried unto God to rescue them from Jabin and Deborah was the answer to their prayers. She was the solution to the Israelites cry for help.

I got three key lessons from this great woman:

Lesson 1

Deborah was Israel’s judge at that time. She was a woman of great faith and courage. When Barak said “I’ll go but only if you will go with me!” (Judges 4:8), she didn’t even hesitate to say “Alright, I will go with you.’

What I see is a woman who truly loves God and is ready to do whatever it takes to see that His will be done. You can imagine a woman leading men to war. She allowed the Spirit of God to lead her. She submitted to Him and allowed Him direct their steps all the way. Just hear her in verse 14, “The Lord leads on!” I also hear the level of her faith from the same verse, “He has already delivered Sisera into your hand!” That was before the victory! She already declared it.

She exhibited an essential attribute of God’s kind of woman – Faith.

Enough of wavering, being tossed here and there by the wind. My take home from this:

  • Deborah recounted God’s promises in the midst of uncertainty

  • Her faith and courage are contagious eventually becoming Barak’s encouragement and consequently leading to the fulfilment of God’s purpose for him at the time.

  • When we don’t become the women God intends us to be, we might hinder some other people from becoming what God wants them to become.

Acting like Deborah would mean not doubting God’s word even before it happens. Like Deborah, I’ll be saying “It’s done, let’s just go and physically take it!”

How many of us take hold of the victory Christ has claimed for us already? He is saying it’s done already. I’ve overcome the world on your behalf. Have faith in Me. Now, go and take what is rightfully yours. All you need do is trust God and obey His word. Because He is the only one who specialises in doing the impossible things.

Lesson 2

Deborah was the leader of Israel at that time. Take note of this – she was responsible for bringing the people back to God. I want all of us to catch ourselves here. How many of us are making a conscious effort to win lost souls to God? It is our responsibility to consciously win souls back to God.

Lesson 3

The next thing that spoke to me strongly in Judges 4:4 was that right after calling her a prophetess, she was named the wife of a man – Lapidoth. We’ve done a study on Sarah before and saw how she was so submissive to Abraham. We all realized that submission is a serious deal with God. Deborah was strong, powerful and all, but a wife still meant Lapidoth was her head in God’s sight. And, she was submissive to him. Even the things she did in Israel would only have been possible because Lapidoth “permitted her” to do so.

Would we go around leading nations but fail to submit in our own homes?

The Bible’s mentioning of Deborah’s roles as a wife and a prophetess/judge wasn’t a mistake. This woman was powerful enough to lead men into battle and yet, submissive enough to be under the authority of a husband. Modern day feminists will call that foolishness, but God would call it the wisdom of a Proverbs 31 woman.

This woman was wise and her husband Lapidoth must have been a ‘one in a million’ kind of husband to let her function in her full calling. She must have also been a wife that made Lapidoth never regret letting her wings fly.

Can we be powerful in God but still be humble?

Let’s ask ourselves this – if God would raise us up to lead nations today, would we still hold our home front and be submissive like God wants us to be?

These days, no one speaks about women being humble. Once God starts using us in a certain way, we develop a second set of shoulders or even a third. It’s a call to me. And a call to every woman here who feels God’s hands strongly on her (basically all of us).

Can we be used mightily by God and still be submissive as wives? Can we play both roles of purpose and wife as we should?

Deborah did great exploits in her time and her husband was not relegated to the background because of her fame, power, position or even number of followers. I can imagine that in today’s society. We should strive to be the example that the world can make reference to, for God’s glory.

Let’s ask God to start grooming us in this from right now. Let’s ask Him for wisdom and for grace to be wise women like Deborah.

Choosing Your Lapidoth

Also, those of us who have God’s mighty hand upon our lives (literally all of us), have to be careful about the man we chose. Don’t make that decision lightly. Pray, pray and pray without ceasing because that man would either mean the death or growth of your ministry in God. If he says no you can’t do this or that, you will have to submit and take that as the answer. Yes, even though we aim to be strong women blazing through God’s Word in strength and authority, the latter has to be subject to the man. That’s simply why my prayer point on submission has been restructured to ‘God, please let me know the head worthy of me submitting to’ because I just have to submit.

Other questions for us to think about:

  1. . Are we women who can be used as God’s solution in a dying and problem-ridden world?

  2. . What do we have in us that can be used to solve issues today?

  3. . Could our refusal to step out into God’s calling automatically be a resistance to someone’s heart cry?

  4. . What’s holding us back from being women with solutions for today’s world?

Finally, I will say praise God always. Always praise and thank God before, during and after He gives you victory. If you read further to Judges Chapter 5, you’ll see that the Israelites praised God.

Praise and thank God for pulling you through seemingly impossible situations. Even when it hasn’t come yet, still praise God.

Obedience and trust in God are key. Trust in anything outside God will collapse, so put your absolute trust in Him!

Prayer Points

1. Let’s ask God for wisdom and for grace to be wise women like Deborah.

2. Let’s speak into our lives and call forth the Deborah in us – in purpose, wisdom, humility, courage, faith and boldness, to arise.

3. Let’s ask God to raise women, believers who will do battle on their knees. Believers who will fight for their families, workplaces, church, and world in prayers. Believers who are on fire in and for God. Ask the Lord to raise YOU to be a Deborah in your time.

4. Ask the Lord to help you to indeed be a help meet to His man for you. To be a helpmeet in every aspect of his life that He opens your eyes to see.


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