This is a sneek peak from our upcoming book.

The book is a collection of studies that include:

-The List

-Becoming God’s own kind of woman

-Marriage God’s way

-The character of a godly woman


Mail 4thewomenatthewell@gmail.com to order for your copy






First of all, we must understand that God doesn’t force anything or anyone on people.

I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life that both thou and thy seed may live.”

Deuteronomy 30:19

God would never force you to do anything. Instead, He wants to help you make the right decision based on His Spirit’s leading

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.…”

Proverbs 3:5

This tells us that as Christians we must submit to God’s leading before taking a decision. It is this leading that might encourage you to marry someone that you at first thought you would not like.

Remember, Marriage is about fulfilling God’s purpose, and His plans for our lives are perfect. Naturally, no one would want to marry someone they are not immediately attracted to, but we could miss things if we look just with our physical eyes. We pray for grace to discern and to be obedient to God’s leading.

Marriage is a long journey during which you must love your husband. Establishing a relationship with Jesus is the first thing we should do to ensure you choose the right life partner. Praying earnestly and asking God for discernment is very important, because what you think is good for you might not be.

In the love story of Isaac and Rebekah, we see that after God revealed that this two were man and wife, Rebekah accepted in faith, even without seeing the man. When they met, there was also an instant attraction from afar. Rebekah immediately got down from her camel asking about Isaac and Isaac in turn took her home and “loved her”. We also learn in Genesis 26:8 that Isaac was seen caressing Rebekah, even after he lied that she wasn’t his wife. This nicely points out that God would also fill your heart with attraction and love.

Think about it, ladies. God knows you have to like your husband to stay with him till death do you part. He has to be able to turn you on because you would make love. So how can God tell you to go ahead without putting the needed attraction and feelings in place? It’s not possible.

God looks at the heart of the man. He knows what appeals to us on the outside but He really is more concerned about the inner heart of this person He wants to give to us. Also worth noting is the fact that Attraction is subjective. One lady might like dark men, you might like fair men. But God knows all this too, right?

At the end of the day, the physical isn’t really God’s focus. His focus is the heart. As seen in His selection of David as King, God doesn’t see the way we see. This is why trusting in our own understanding can lead us into a ditch.

So basically, can we say the entirety of this is hinged on “trusting God”? Trusting that He knows what is best for us and even in this area of attraction, He will sort it out and we won’t be with men that we won’t like. That our husbands will be gifts and we’ll praise God for them in the long run.

When you give a seemingly unattractive guy a chance to get to know him, you’ll actually find him attractive and genuinely appreciate the person for who he is instead of just limiting yourself to what you see at first. We need to see through God’s eyes, to get close to see the content this person carries. And somehow, attractive content always makes the container madly cute. Ugly content, on the other hand, always makes an attractive container instantly ugly.

God knew that David would be the best man for the throne even though at that moment, David didn’t look like it. The same is the case with God’s plans for our marital destinies. He isn’t only looking at the now, He is looking at the future and the man who will be best for you even years from now.

So basically, we would simply have to hold on to Proverbs 3:5 that says “Trust in the Lord” and pray that we see the way the Lord sees. Samuel’s only saving grace was that he was led by the Lord, and that was how he didn’t anoint a wrong king amongst the brothers.

Let us learn to pray “Father let Your thoughts be my thoughts, and give me Your eyes, let me see like you do.”

One reason Samuel didn’t anoint the wrong king was because even though he was judging by appearances, he was also making sure to be led by the Lord

In conclusion, being attracted to the guy is important but submitting yourself to God’s leading takes priority. You must submit yourself to God, look up to Him and ask for vision to see things the way He does.

Just as there is a way the world depicts success and prosperity, there is also a way it depicts a good marriage. We see it on BellaNaija Weddings, Instagram, Facebook and other social media platforms. Overtime, we have made a cast for it in our minds. If we are not careful, we might start to run our courting and marriage with this stronghold.


Lord, give me vision to see the way you do.

Posted on: January 14, 2017, by :

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