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I had failed in academics, with relationships, with my family, in businesses I started, with ideas I thought God had placed in my heart to pursue. With every step I tried to take forward, I felt the choke hold of fear and shame tighten around me. I started shrinking back, living in isolation. I lived that way for four years or more? Yet, I’d put up a brave front, encourage and pray for people around me whilst I lived in some black hole.

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This year, the Lord started wooing me and healing my heart and mind and it sort of culminated in my experience with reading Ted Dekker’s Trilogy. I had felt unloved for the longest time and He was stepping in to fix me. You see? He is healing me.

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His love also opened my eyes. His love endeared people to my heart, total strangers. I saw them for the precious souls they were and I started preaching on my bus routes again, albeit some hesitation. This time, I was receiving visions of preaching in buses and having people healed and delivered from all forms of diseases and oppression of the devil.

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This year, I transitioned from Commercial Law to Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). I sat for and became certified to practice as a Mediator and starting from January 2018, I am setting out fully on this path. I also moved from fulltime Law practice to incorporate my love for Interior Design and walking the path of a vision in my heart. I was totally unqualified for this job by industry standards and felt a bit crazy over the career move but God worked out a way like only He  could and He has steady shown His favour and blessings upon my work.

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This year, I also started an excellent gift  service from the ashes of fear. It had been a long time coming and even though I knew it was time, I was afraid and shrank back.

I am so thankful grace reached out for me. I put out the first set of posts, a logo and updates and God blessed us with clients instantly.

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So, for @jars.baskets writing this serves dual purpose- to document this journey and to keep myself accountable, I can’t let fear win again.

Serving the needs of school kids during the rainy seasons with thermal lined coats/jackets and school supplies has steady taken up a spot in my heart. In the words of T.D Jakes, I am staring (intently) at this opportunity to see what could come out of it, to see what gift I could present back to God.

Then God sent me love to crown the year! Love that I could never have dreamed up, even if I tried. The kind of love that is a gentle balm to old hurts and pain; the kind of love that only He can pour into the heart of one for another…and He says He’s just starting!

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As I write these last few lines, racing against time, hoping I make it in time to submit my entry and frantically looking for a picture to accompany this,

I am reminded of this chorus from Andra Day’s Song- Rise Up, because serving at Aunty Salt Essien’s event #RisingUp was part of my healing process too.

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I share  this song with you too. Rise!!!